would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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