She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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