the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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