i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
