TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
