Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize