david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
