Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
