shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
