I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Where is the hickey?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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