I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
