I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
