dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
