he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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