no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
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This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
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I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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