Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
