She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize