smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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