i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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