he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
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Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
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Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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