you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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