we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize