Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
