i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
