A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
