Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
