Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
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We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?