Im at strip club and am horny
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
I love us.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants