I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.