he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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