He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
