You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
