i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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