Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
