Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
whose parrot is this?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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