She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
