hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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