I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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