i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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