so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
