insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
do herpes really smell.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
