Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
sex in a hospital.. check
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
