Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
