So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
false alarm. still invincible.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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