i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
