And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My vagina is officially offended.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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