highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
