Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
