Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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