I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize