i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
