my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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