I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
