Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
