ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.