just come out here and I will go home with you...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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