Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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